Relationship Deal Breakers: How to know them

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A relationship deal breaker could be a habit, personality trait or a point of view of your partner that you cannot overlook. A deal breaker is a factor to consider when deciding whether to follow through with something or not, it’s that little thing that make you say “I’m Done” even when you really love someone or you’ve been together forever. It may actually sound harsh after all; no relationship is perfect right?  But having a list of relationship deal breaker is actually a way to protect yourself from toxic situation.

Here are some relationships deal breakers that you might want to seriously consider when deciding on whether your love for someone is what your time and commitment:

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  • Selfishness: Selfishness can take many forms, it will mean your partner prioritize their wants and needs over yours, over and over again. This might manifest itself in small things at first, while it might not seem as a big deal, if your partner can’t even let you have your way when it comes to little things like what to eat or what movie you watch, they might struggle to compromise when it comes to bigger or more important things as the relationship progress.
  • Disregard your opinions: Both partners should feel safe sharing their opinions in a healthy romantic relationship. Each partner views are essential both as individuals and as a couple. A serious deal breaker is when your partner does not care about what you think about anything, making you feel like your effort doesn’t count and the relationship is one sided.
  • Anger issue: Anger is like a slow poison, which eventually kills a relationship. short and flaring tempers that often lead to argument and fighting could indicate that they might be having anger issues. Life becomes difficult when you always have to face harsh words and insensitive comments, uncontrolled anger eventually becomes deal breaker when temper result to violence or abuse.
  • Finance management: This is another sensitive aspect where most couples stumble in a relationship, one partner might earn more or is more successful than the other partner. All is well when there is an understanding between them. But if one partner exert authority or the other expresses jealousy, then it is a deal breaker. Also, poor money management and always being in debt or being budget minded and miserly can become deal breakers.
  • Improper conflict resolutions: Arguments are common in every relationship, but things can go messy if you speak without thinking. If your partner attacks you personally instead of coming to a point of resolving a problem with you, you may want to think about it. The key to a healthy open relationship is communication, without hurting each other. You should consider putting an end to a relationship if your partner practices the following action during a heated argument or fight:
    • Goes completely silent
    • Doesn’t want to understand your point
    • Bring back past experiences
    • treat you with disrespect
    • Personally, attacks your image.
  • No future plans: If your partner does not show any interest in discussing plans, it is a clear indication that there is no commitment and seriousness about taking the relationship to the next level. However, you cannot judge this in the initial phase or the first few meetings of your association, but if this continues every time you, you might need to get on with your life cause the other person might just be playing with your emotions. We understand that hurting a loved one is the last thing you want to do, but you should not compromise certain things that might affect you later. No matter how much you love them, this deal breaker might eventually get out of control and eventually leave you heart broken.
  • Verbal/emotional value: Communication is an important tool for understanding your partner, unfortunately it can also be use as a weapon that can harm, demean, threat and control another person. If your partner uses inappropriate language to criticize you instead to connect with you, this is a big red flag. Example of such inappropriate language includes:
    • Insulting your character and calling you names
    • Yelling, screaming or threatening to punish or expose you
    • Tries to alter the past to make them look better or using your past as an intention to hurt you
    • Makes you feel that you are always wrong or need to make you hurting for them.
  • You’re a secret: If you find out that your partner hasn’t told any one about you especially their family and friends please run, because keeping you a secret means these three things:
    • They are already in a relationship and you are the side piece
    • They can’t commit
    • They are embarrassed by you (means they are not proud of you).

Your time is valuable and shouldn’t be wasted being with someone who would rather keep you as their dirty little secret

  • You are always fighting (the cat and rat): Conflicts is a natural part of a relationships and you and your partner are bound to have some disagreements and arguments from time to time. However, if you and your partner have a contention in which the two of you are always screaming and fighting with each other, this cold be a deal breaker. Of course, you are not always going to agree with each other, but you should be able to communicate with each other rightly to resolve any dispute in a healthy and productive way. However, if each day is filled with anger and you find yourself fed up with your partner most of the time, it is time to say a goodbye to a toxic relationship.
  • Inconsistency: No one is the exert same person at every moment, we go through mood swings, for starter and we all evolve as we age. That said if your partner feels like a drastically different person from one day to another, engaging in contradictory actions and statement all the time, that might be a sign that they’re not a good match for you. Sure, your partner may be lovely and romantic half the time, but if they become uninterested and selfish the other half, is it really worth it? A good partner is someone who strive to give the best version of themselves all the time no matter the circumstances, not jus on a special occasion.
  • Not available:  Your romantic partner is supposed to make time for you and spend effort being there for you. If they have a habit of being unavailable, and don’t apologize about their absence or make an effort to change to show you that you matter, then you’re better off leaving and sparing yourself of more disappointment.

Summary

The above relationship deal breaker list gives you a good idea of seriously negative traits and potential problems you might encounter in a relationship. It is important you spot this trait to avoid heart breaks and move on quickly with your life.

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