Reasons you are not experiencing orgasm during sex

Orgasm is the pleasurable release of all that sexual tension that is bottled up during arousal and engorgement of the clitoris, vagina and vulva. The vagina contract rhythmically along with other pelvic tissues. During sex our brains release a large number of endorphins, oxytocin and dopamine. Endorphins are the “feel-good” hormone, Oxytocin is the “love” hormone while Dopamine is associated with “pleasure and desire”. Orgasm can vary in intensity, duration and frequency, orgasm can occur with little sexual simulation, but sometimes much more simulation is required. An orgasm typically last under 15 seconds, although some women orgasm can last as long as a minute or two minutes. Orgasmic dysfunction is also known as anorgasmia disorder and this is a condition that occur when someone have difficulty reaching orgasm. This difficulty may occur even when they ‘re sexually aroused with sufficient sexual simulation. Many women find it difficult to reach orgasm, it is estimated that 10% -40% of women find it difficult to reach orgasm and also some have never had an orgasm.

Types of orgasmic dysfunction

• Primary anorgasmia: A condition in which you’ve never had an orgasm.
• Secondary anorgasmia: This is a condition where you find it difficult to reach orgasm even though you’ve had one before
• Situational anorgasmia: This is the most common type of orgasmic dysfunction. It occurs when you can only orgasm during specific situation such as during oral sex or masturbation
• General anorgasmia: This is an inability to achieve orgasm under any circumstances even when you’re highly aroused and sexual simulation is sufficient.

Causes of orgasmic dysfunction

Sexual arousal and orgasms are complex reaction to various physical, emotional, sensory and psychological factors. Difficulties in any of these areas can affect your ability of having an orgasm or climax in sex.

The following causes of orgasmic dysfunction may include:

• Lack of knowledge about sexual simulation or interaction
• Past sexual or emotional abuse
• Poor body image
• Guilt or embarrassment about sex
• Cultural or religious beliefs about sex
• Lack of emotional intimacy
• Poor communication on sexual needs and preferences
• Infidelity or breach of trust
• Intimate partner violence
• Partner sexual dysfunction such as male partner with erectile dysfunction
• Health conditions such as diabetes overactive bladder or multiple sclerosis
•  Gynecological treatment, such as tissue damage from gynecologic surgeries like hysterectomy or cancer surgery may affect the inability to have orgasm
• Alcohol and smoking: alcohol suppresses the nervous system and may hamper the ability to have an orgasm, while smoking can limit blood flow to your sexual organs affecting your ability to have an orgasm.
• Problem with sexual arousal.
• Little or no desire for sex
• Pain from sexual intercourse or other sexual simulation
• Dryness of the vagina or vulva
• Involuntary tightening of the vagina (Vaginismus).

What to do when you are finding it difficult to experience orgasm

1. Have a healthy attitude towards sex and get education about sexual simulation and response
2. Learn to clearly communicate sexual needs and desire with your partner either verbally or non-verbally
3. Get enough rest and eat well. Limit alcohol, drugs and smoking. This will help you feel better about sex
4. Focus on other sexual activities, not just sexual intercourse
5. Use birth control that works for you and your partner
6. In case there are other sexual problems such as lack of interest and pain during intercourse, make sure to address this as part of the process
7. Try clitoral simulation to reach orgasm which include; simulation during sexual activities.
8. Try masturbation, this may help you understand what you need to be sexually excited
9. Use mechanical device such as vibrators, as this may help you achieve orgasm with masturbation
10. Check with your health care provider for more treatment.

Bottomline

Orgasmic dysfunction can happen when a woman finds it difficult to reach orgasm or having trouble to reaching orgasm. When sex is not enjoyable it can become an issue of concern instead of a satisfying intimate experience for both partners, sexual desire may decline and sex may occur less often.

READ MORE