Cheating and infidelity can be subjective and often vary from one relationship to another to another. However according to psychologist cheating is considered to be an act of involving a third party that violates the standard boundaries of a relationship between romantic partners. It doesn’t mean that will lead to the end of the relationship. However don’t feel obligated to repair a broken relationship especially when your partner is not interested in working things out to make amends. When a partner violates a partner’s expectations, the emotional outcome is the same as feeling rejected, betrayed and distrust. Being cheated on, is one of the most painful feeling a person can feel when they are in a relationship with someone they love. This can lead to lost of trust for that person that cheated, you might find it hard forgive them because of the hurt your are feeling at that point.
Types of cheating or infidelity
- Combined infidelity: This includes more than one type of cheating that has do with sexual and emotional intimacies.
- Micro cheating: These action bothers a partner; this is when flirting crosses, a line without any intension of staying outside the relationship.
- Financial infidelity: This is when money become a point of contention in a relationship. One partner may be deceitful about how much money they earn, they spend too much and even hide their money away from their partner.
- Objective infidelity: This is when a partner focus more on something such as their work or phone, which can lead to distraction from their relationship.
- Cyber infidelity: This has to do with social media. When a partner involves with someone else online through messages, chat groups with online sexual content or watching erotic videos like pornography.
- Emotional Cheating: This means when a partner gets emotionally attached to another person that result to intimacy, this can lead to serious damage to a relationship.
- Physical Cheating: This is when there is sexual or physical connection outside a relationship with no emotional component between the partners.
- Commemorative Cheating: This happens when a partner falls out of love and has no feelings for their partner anymore but they continue in the relationship because of obligation.
Signs one of you is Cheating
- They spend time with their ex or a particular person but claims nothing is going on between them.
- They start to put blame on you that you cheated on them even when you haven’t
- They stop talking to you about their deepest feelings
- They easily pick a fight with you for no reason
- They make unnecessary excuses when you ask them where they’ve been
- When you suddenly can’t reach them when you need them and this becomes consistent
- They suddenly change their schedule without any explanation especially when they don’t have a new job or project
- Their friend is no longer comfortable with you because they know something you don’t know. They become anxious and uneasy
- They hide their phone or devices from you and change their password. When you touch their phone, they become mad at you
- They start to worry about their appearance, they start to buy expensive clothes or underwear
- They stop having sex with you because their needs is been met by someone else. They give you excuse to be intimate with you. Less sex occurs when your partner is focused on someone else while more sex occurs when they are trying to cover up their wrong doing.
- They become angry and nervous around you when they start to project their fears and insecurities
- They suddenly start to pay attention to you after being distant for a while. They try to make up for what they’ve done behind your back
- You no longer communicate like before, and this could be little things such as what happened during the busy work day or big things like refusing to discuss the future with you.
What to do when you discovered a cheating partner
- Don’t make a rash decision, seek help from a professional right away to avoid hurting yourself or your partner
- Give each other some space, try to avoid emotional charge and discussion as you begin the healing process
- Seek support from our trusted family member or friend especially those that can give you the support you need. Avoid people that tend to be critical, biased or judgmental
- Take your time to understand what has happened don’t give into intimate details of the affair right away. Accept help from a professional to guide you through this process.